It pains me to admit this, but I have a great-niece who is getting married next month. My oldest sibling (she loves when I call her that) is a decade wiser than myself, and as a result, I grew up very close with my niece and nephew. I was often a babysitter for them during my teenage years. When my niece had her daughter, I was there with a big smile and plenty of love and support. That daughter is now getting married, and my niece and her husband are happy, anxious, and slightly depressed every time they crack open the checkbook.

Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of love and family, hope for tomorrow and the joy of today. After years of reality tv, weddings have morphed into extravagant, hugely expensive full day affairs that cost more than I’ve ever spent on a vehicle. How did we end up here, people? My husband and I were married in our church. My great-niece will be celebrating her nuptials on the Riverwalk in Indianapolis. You don’t want to know how much that cost!

Look, I know that weddings are important. I get it. And many young couples are picking up that tab themselves now, so it doesn’t all fall on the parents. Still, I think it’s time we bring the sanity back to the wedding industry. If you’re planning a wedding this year, it doesn’t need to cost the $20K - $60K you see on television shows or read about in bridal magazines. You can plan a gorgeous, beautiful, and wonderful wedding for under $5,000. I’ve helped plan three weddings, so here’s my wedding spending advice, for what it’s worth:

1. Be creative with your location. Churches are gorgeous and usually don’t cost very much, but you can also plan an outdoor wedding at a local farm, or head to the park. Do you really need to get married at the zoo?  You can buy a lifetime membership and visit whenever you want with the amount of money you’re spending on the rental.
2. The wedding is about the bride and groom—not impressing the guests. If I’m attending a wedding, I’m there to celebrate with the couple, not for a free meal. Our culture encourages us to show off by living beyond our means when it comes to the cars we drive, the homes we live in, and the weddings we plan, but that’s not what’s best for our mental, financial, and emotional health, or our marriages.
3. Invest in a good photographer/videographer. This is who will be capturing those memories that the couple can treasure for years to come. This is the one area that I would encourage “splurging” in.

This June I’m sure I’ll have a lovely time at my great-niece’s wedding. I’ll comfort my niece as she considers what else they could have spent that money on. I’m sure it would make a nice down payment on a home or paid off a substantial chunk of her daughter’s student loans, not to mention what it might have down for their own personal retirement funds. I’ll enjoy the cocktail hour, the sit down dinner, and the beautiful surroundings. I’ll keep any financial advice to myself at least for the length of that day (although I can’t promise not to offer some savings tips in the card). I’m positive it’s a day that my great-niece will remember forever, and for that, I am grateful…love is worth celebrating.