There’s one person I haven’t written very much about, one person who is a huge part of my life and has also played a big part in helping me plan for retirement…because it’s not just MY retirement, it’s OURS. I’m talking about my husband, of course. When it comes to making any sort of decision, if you’re married, then you’re really looking at that decision from the point of view of two people. I’m not here to give out marital advice, but one of the main reasons for divorce in this country are financial issues, so staying on top of your budget and retirement plans has many benefits beyond a healthy checkbook.
The reason I don’t write very much about my husband is because he’s shy and maybe wouldn’t appreciate being the topic of discussion. Obviously opposites did attract in this case, as I am pretty much the opposite of shy. This all comes to mind because my husband and I are nearing our 35th Anniversary, and after 35 years of marriage, I’ve collected an assortment of treasured memories and stories, and special occasions always bring out the storyteller in me.
You might think that I would drag out the old wedding albums and look through baby books from our children when I get to feeling sentimental, but for me, the memories that grab hold of me are the silly ones. Silly arguments, funny vacation mishaps, pranks and mistakes that fill up our history. When you spend over half of your life with another person, you have a lot of mishaps to look back on, and you realize that I Love Lucy was more than just a television sitcom, it was a blueprint for how marriage works.
My husband and I used to argue about our dogs. We’ve had dogs all of our adult lives, and I remember one dog in particular. We’d named him Sharkie, he was an American Pit Bull and he was a handful. We owned him before we had children, so we thought that maybe he would give us some insight on how we’d do raising a child together. My husband would snicker at my attempts to train a 6 month old pit bull puppy, and looking back on it, I kind of snicker too. But at the time, I would get so angry at him.
I owe one of my favorite memories to that pup. Sharkie was still a young dog, and my husband was playing with him in the backyard, chasing him from one end of the yard to the other. At one point, my husband turned around to talk to me, and I’ll always remember this picture. My husband, facing me, in the middle of a long anecdote from his workday; my dog, at the far end of the backyard, watching his master, who had been playing with him and was now looking the other way; and the lightbulb that I could practically see turning on over Sharkie’s head when he realized the potential of the situation. Sharkie bounded towards my husband, picking up speed as he ran, somehow silent across a yard strewn with fallen leaves, his tongue flying out to the side and the iconic pit bull smile on his face. I could see what was going to happen, could see this blur of brindle fur racing towards my unsuspecting husband, and I thought I might say something, that I might warn him about this oncoming freight train of a dog. But then I thought about him snickering at me and I didn’t say a word. You can imagine what happens when a 50 lb. ball of fur and muscle tackles a full grown man, hitting him right around the back of the knees, and in my memory, it’s always in slow motion, the look of surprise on his face, the expression of absolute joy and affection on Sharkie’s. After that I realized we could probably raise a child together, that it would probably be pretty much just like that, full of funny, joyful, and sometimes painful surprises.
35 years of marriage with this man, and I have so many memories like this, and I know that I’ve hit the jackpot, having a best friend for a husband. So here’s to finding that special someone who can make you laugh. There are a few things you need to be serious about when you’re walking through this life together: your family, your health, and your finances. In my experience, everything else is room to be silly. Happy Anniversary, Honey.